How to get fired Essay Example | Topics and Well Written Essays - 750 words

How to get fired - Essay Example As you’re being shown the ropes, be sure to pull out that bottle of whisky or vodka and flash it around amicably – drink to everyone’s health and inform them all sweetly about how you need your daily tipple to really get going. Ask a lot of silly questions, the kind that even a ten year old would be ashamed to ask. The objective here is to demonstrate your utter lack of competence for the job you’ve been hired for, so plant those seeds of doubt liberally in your supervisor’s mind. And thirdly, be sure to leave early. Tell them you have a hot date, or yawn loudly and say you’re too bored to hang around any longer and leave. What? Still not fired? Well, don’t lose hope, lots of options are still open. Remember those tools I mentioned? Let’s take the last one first – blogsphere. Be sure to enter blogsphere with lots of ultra specific details on your personal blog about your Company. This is the place to mention anything and everything you don’t like about your boss and if the details you furnish are good enough to identify him or her, so much the better, especially if it’s a place your boss visits too. Waste lots of company time on your personal blog and let your work pile up. The chances of getting fired are directly proportional to the lack of discipline you display. Now let’s say your boss is a patient person and prepared to give you a chance. So you get a warning – but that’s it. Then it’s time to pull out the second tool – lies. The aim of the mission is to antagonize the boss by proving exactly how untrustworthy you are. Make personal calls from your office phone, gossip for hours with your friends or co-workers and then lie blatantly when the boss questions you – say that you were engaged in company business. If he or she tries to be pleasant to you and cracks a few jokes, do not laugh at any of them even if your funny bone is

Marketing Essay Example | Topics and Well Written Essays - 500 words - 26

Marketing - Essay Example In the cut throat business of electronic goods, Sonic mission would be to capture the market segment that caters to the upcoming young executives who are looking for gizmos which are small enough to hold in their pockets but powerful enough to be used as computer, or phone or even as an entertainment device, as and when the need arises. Globalization has changed the dynamic of the business and today the professionals need to have all the information at their tip while following a hectic schedule. So the smaller the device which can pack such features, better are its chances of capturing this target group. PDAs from big companies like Hewlett Packard, Sony etc. have been in the market for the few years. Palm One, Blackberry etc. are PDAs that are well known. Over the years, these PDAs have evolved and new features have been incorporated. So Sonic 1000, would be competing with the companies whose PDAs, already have a market. Since the growing world economy has opened opportunities where new technology would be playing a very important role. Sonic, needs to come out with something which would be unique while having all the features of the currently popular PDAs, at no extra cost. After thorough analysis of the present market, the company proposes to give several value added services to its customers. The new Sonic 1000 would be a small hand held compact computer serving as a 3G camera phone with wi-fi features like Bluetooth, infra red technology thus facilitating easy internet connection. Sonic 1000 PDA would be equipped with a micro mini hard drive of 40 GB and USB connection that would make data handling easy, fast and efficient. 3G facility would enable video conferencing and the executives would be able to interact with their office and clients, while on the move. Looking at the vast potential for this type of gizmos, in the first year, the company proposes to sell 240,000